12/21/2012

One Month and so Many Changes

I cant believe this little man (pictured one day old) is now one month old.



I celebrated his month day yesterday with being able to fit in my pre-prego jeans. A respectable size 4 though I still have some work to get back to my size 2 pre-Elena jeans. Before anyone flames me, remember that I am petite (read short). You dont want to see how bad I would need to look to get into a size 10. Super skinny for me is well below a size 2. I dont think I will every be "high school skinny" again unless its depression related.

I am enjoying the return of my body and anxious to get back in shape. I currently have this lovely pouch of fat/skin that bulges above my waist band that has got to go. If I can swing it financial we will be getting a gym membership. Husband wants one but has been talking of possibly adding some really big expenses which could prevent it. In that case, I will have to switch to biking for my cardio.

I am at a weird place right now. Torn between happiness of the moment and possible sadness for the future. I have hope. I really would like to start seeing a relationship counselor to brush some skeletons out from the closets and strengthen us for the future. There is a reason the divorce rate for those with mental illness (especially depression) is so high. I dont think the husband will like this idea much. I wont push even if I think its a worthwhile investment. We will see.

In the mean time, I am avoiding the future and relishing the present. I love my husband. I adore my babies. And I am very much looking forward to being cleared by the Dr at my 6wk appt for many reasons.
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